IZZY (OR ISN'T HE)

MUSIC VIBE: ANDROGYNY BY GARBAGE

GAYDAR ON THE FRITZ! CAN SOMEONE HELP ME? I'M SEEING A STARTLING TREND OF GUYS BLURRING THE LINES, OF GAY,STR8, METRO AND JUST PLAIN I DON'T KNOW. THAT'S RIGHT PEOPLE!!!! A NEW SPECIES OF MALE HAS EMERGED. YOU SAY WHAT DOES SHE MEAN? LET IT BEGIN...MY BESTIE AND I ARE PARTIAL TO A LOCAL RENDEZVOUS SPOT CALLED *MONROE'S.UPON TAKING OUR USUAL SEAT, AN ENERGETIC, BOISTEROUS GUY COMES AND INTRODUCES HIMSELF AS *JASON. HERE IS WHERE MY BEWILDERMENT STARTS. HIS HIGH TONALITY AND INFLECTION OF WORDS DIDN'T SHOCK ME, WHAT CAME OUT HIS MOUTH NEXT DID. "I'VE BEEN TRYING TO ASK THIS GIRL OUT" GASP(IN MY HEAD) REALLY? SLYLY GIVING THE SIDE-EYE TO MY BESTIE. NOW IM THINKING THIS MAN IS GAY RIGHT? WRONG...

APPARENTLY SOMEWHERE BETWEEN OUT AND IN THE D*** CLOSET THERE IS SOME KIND OF MIDDLE GROUND WHERE THE MANNERISM THAT I SEEN AND KNOW FROM MY GAY FRIENDS ALL OF A SUDDEN BELONG TO "STR8" MEN..HMMMMMMM. OK I DON'T BELIEVE THIS FOR A MINUTE. REALIZE YOU ARE TRAPPED AND PICK A SIDE. I KNOW THAT FAMILY AND SOCIETY CAN MAKE THAT IMPORTANT LEAP UNBEARABLE. YOU AND I BOTH KNOW WHATS REALLY UP. GETTING MARRIED(TO A WOMAN) AND HAVING THE 2.5 KIDS DOESN'T MAKE YOU STR8. I HAVE SEEN IT TIME AND TIME AGAIN BE WHO YOU ARE ITS OK. BTW, *JASON STILL SEEMS TO BE SINGLE . I WONDER WHY.. TO THE JASONS OF THE WORLD "HOW YOU DOIN"(in my Wendy Williams voice).


*names and places have been changed to protect the innocent